I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man I like to get hammered On Friday night Sometimes I can't wait So Monday's alright It's a battle with the bottle I'll win it alright But I lost another round In the bar last night I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man Yeah, I'm gonna get fired For drinkin' on the job Got caught with the boss's wife In the parking lot I'm gonna get killed For doin' this again But I just can't help it It's under my skin I'm a dirty old man I do what I can I'm gonna get hammered And do it again I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man Got a bag of frozen peas I use on my knees I injured from beggin' And tryin' to please If you believe that I'm losing my fat Got a workout program And a new rubber mat I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man I'm a dirty old man